Issa love affair!

Wow wow! My heart is excited. More than excited. Lately, it's been thumping louder than, were they tum tum drums! okay I am not going to fake prowess in writing compositions.. At least not today. Reason? I tried to love the subject but it rejected me so I was among the below average students... or maybe average. Anyway, I think one can get what I am trying to say. Right? That was not the main point though...

I am here to write about God's faithfulness. I have seen HIM in too many ways to ever doubt his goodness. Every time I try to get faithless, HE proves HIMSELF in my very life. Oh come taste HIM. He is good and He is always faithful.

I feel elated. Excited..ecstatic .. more than grateful in my life.
Yesterday remains one of my best days in life. A legend did something. Okay he did not do it by himself. It has been the grace of God all these years in his life.
I am just about to gain an extremely awesome, talented, amazing, incredible human being for a sister or maybe I have, I am not sure what I should use by now... She has been a friend to us and now...  okay my heart is so full that every time I think about it, I just thank God. It makes me feel humbled, anxious, happy.. worried. You ask worried, oh yes! I am not certain of what lies ahead, but I know WHO will take us through.

May the roller coaster continue.. I hope I will be around a lot longer to see what this life holds before we cross over to home.
Forever grateful!

I am Growing Wiser

Hoooo! 

I had promised to be writing more often this year even if it means sneaking from work and doing a short post. Like a really short piece. One I could reread through crossing Uhuru Highway from Kenyatta Avenue right into Uhuru Park. That would be a very unwise move I know. I wouldn't try or ask anyone to do this. 

Anyway, growing up I had always wished to have a slenderer face. Then i got to college, and it was such a relief when i saw my round faced friends with photos of them wearing a much slenderer face....I asked what it was and they told me photo effects on their phones. I bought a phone that could afford some space for such an app but it's tiring to take 79 selfies, pull one and try to edit it. One would ask, oh you really do that? Oh yes i have done this before. And then I heard there's this thing when doing make up referred to as, contouring the cheeks... okay let's not go there coz i wouldn't try.

On to the real story, now that I am growing wiser, I have started seeing my cheek bones once in a while when I wash my face in the morning. A part of me feels the water I am taking is finally coming through for me but another silent voice tells me it's a sign i am growing old.Oh so Scary! And that my little-plus size self is preparing to go to the dust. It is .. oh yes it is scary to think along these line but what is life for? We live to die. Therefore, we should wake up knowing... oh! this is another day to prepare for when i will die. Just one of those random thoughts that comes to my mind and i think to write down.

Hope you do prepare for yours too because for sure that day is coming, and if our Lord comes before that day, we shall all be changed to meet HIM in the air. 

It is Joy unspeakable and full of Glory

      Well did I just choose a song i have been playing on my mind lately to put as my theme for this post? Well, yes i did. This song has been replaying on my mind in the last couple of weeks. I have nothing really to point at before you start speculating that there is something cooking in my life, a promotion of some kind in my life, i am not sure of it.
      One thing that i have come to know about myself is that i carefully select my playlists so that it has a section of worship songs, praise songs, and sermons. Songs usually so much impact on my mood that i have to select my songs carefully. An example to prove it is when i identify a song with sorrow because at the time it was playing in the background, someone was breaking the news about the departure of a loved one. Or a breakup happened and this particular song was beginning to play. I then find myself consciously skipping that track on my playlists and probably never delete it hoping for the day there'll be sunshine after the rain and I will comfortably play it.
       I am not sure it's the case with many people but I have some songs too that kinda sooth me back to normal state. They encourage me and help keep my spirit afloat in a world with people or situations that can really shutter your heart past smithereens. Today i choose a joyful playlists to fill my heart. For i want my heart to be full all the days of my life.. not because of what I can see but because of what i can feel in my heart. His love so eternal that it is Joy unspeakable and full of glory and the half has never yet been told!!

Joyful times ahead to you.

It's a Learning New Year

One would be very genuine to ask me? "Are you sure the year is still new?" Well my answer would be this... that it is new depending on what phase you are going through and how you see your life when you compare to your 2018 year goals...

• For a new parent, it's pretty new... because their sleep pattern has totally been turned into something that's way different from the norm 
• To someone who has lost a loved one in the new year, every day they wake up, they somehow carry on but on most days, they get those sad intense moments filled with pain...
• Anyone working on something is definitely going thru some new cycle of getting to familiarise with work politics and all..

As such, it is inevitable not to find days yourself in some thick situation, one that you would run out of your skin if it was possible to do so. I am currently going thru my kind of phase and it has actually prompted me to do this piece. A phase that makes me feel like, no one around me is helpful...well I don't know if I put it in the right words because they are actually doing what is required of them. And on such days it makes me wonder what the true essence of living is. 

When your mind starts to wander or predict about the future, we must do our best to shift and focus our minds on the present. Practice to notice what is happening now and let go the ideals and practice the real things. 

Sit back and accept the moment as it is. The reality now if denied, may send us into great levels of stress which if not managed, can get into depression levels... so try to be composed, sit back and reflect about the situation.  Accept it for what is is, be grateful and make the best out of it. This way, you are able to see life in a beautiful way... you are in a position to see the positives instead of the negatives that have come your way.

In this new year, I am learning to

1. Be the best version of myself as of yesterday every new day I wake up
2. Understand that I am not perfect and I can only depend on God who is perfect
3. Be patient with myself as only then, I will be patient with others
4. Learn that it is okay to be weak, to cry about losses and to wear a brave face the next morning
5. Accept that I came to this world alone and I have to go through life making conscious decisions alone as long as I will live... 
6. Create more networks as your networks turn into your net worth
7. Understand that peer pressure is a state of mind and it shouldn't destruct me as everyone has their own 'getting on train' moments. 
8. List can go on and on.... but the biggest of them all.... I am learning to understand that though we live to die, the best life is a life well lived.... and I am trying to live that good life in the moment. Not tomorrow but now. Yesterday was history and today is a gift that's why it is called present.

Thank you for reading my post. Blessed times as you improve the yesterday version of you.. Always remember that, that's the only person you should compete with.

My 2018 start

1st 2018 was one of the most painful days of my life. My family and I had just come from church and on switching on our phones, we found a couple of messages from extended family members who had tried to reach us. I wished they were saying happy new year. It was not it, it was the worst news about a loved one. They had gone.. The grim reaper had knocked at our family's door. He does not request he just shows up! ooooooh uuuuh! I do not know why you (my late friend and fam) told me in our last conversation to attend your funeral the last time we sat together. Then less than a year you leave? Was it a premonition kind of thing? Come back for a minute! This happened so soon man that all we talked about keeps coming back to my head, it's as fresh as if you are telling it to me now. I thought we would have lived to be 70s maybe and see how our lineage has grown. I take my lessons. I have proved that we do not live to ourselves or for ourselves. And it is not a long time..We live to die.. We surely live to die. My prayer like that of the Psalmist Psalm 90:12 is that the Lord will teach me to number my days so I may apply my heart unto wisdom.
 I have not recovered. But I surely will because I believe in God.

I do not have resolutions as yet for I will make them and break them. I am certain though that your departure has taught me albeit with pain a few things:

• First and foremost is to live for God every second and millisecond because we are not our own....
• A second point ...yes I repeat... It is to live for God..  This would come again as the third, fourth and fifth up to infinity....
• I have resolved to live a life of purpose... a life worth some good legacy to leave behind. 
• I have decided I will check on the people I love and care about more often..I will go out with more intentions to make new friends... and I will mix fun and hustle altogether. If I decide to check out on you and you're a phone call away.. brace it.. 2018 is my year of change.. 
• I intend to do things more carefully.  I will leave a mark like to say in latter days that I was here. I will be more deliberate in the things I execute. Sometimes mortal man has those lazy days and I have been guilty of this way too long. I will try to shorten them and bring this to a halt.   
• I thank God I have been able to overcome keeping mute on offenders for I have learnt that in the face of death grudges and such time wasters are such minute issues. 
• In a nutshell I am just saying that I will live every minute like I will be out in the next as I do things. 

Before I complete my post... this is the tribute I sat down to write in tears and with a heavy heart

Dear Buddy,
          To say you broke my heart is an understatement. My heart was sent flying to wherever rendering it shuttered into tiny smithereens pieces. You have left a young family...and all your extended family. It was the worst news for me to receive on the day I should have been celebrating my favorite person's birthday.
The news left us shocked,lost and sad.You had so much zeal that no one doubted you would make it real big in this life. You seemed to have a long life ahead...now we wish it was so.

          One particular thing that broke me to pieces was about your spiritual life.. you remember me pushing you to come to my church and how you would brush it with your jokes? I hope you made it up with God before you left us.
I honestly don't know where you are but I hope you are resting. While you were around I heard you have a young one...But 2017 was such a year for me I would wish it was wound back and I did not have to loose the precious souls I did.. I am sorry I kept postponing. Now he's 5 months. I have met him. He is such a handsome little prince. And your wife is a beauty with brains...The little one has definitely taken after you.

          I was going through your last tweets and one caught my eye.. that we break promises and memories break us. The memories of us break me..to date. I smile..and tear a little and move on. I can't imagine how tough it is for your young wife,brothers and family. but all in all the Lord who has made this happen will see all of us through... He is never gotten by surprises like mortal man. He knows our end from our beginning.

          It is sad to say good bye... but I am glad we had you in our lives..... It is not often the case that we loose a loved one and gain another at the same time... but in this case we say thank you to God that we have a mini you....
I will tell him when he is a little older and if the Lord willing I will still be around, I will tell him what an awesome dad you are and will still be though he can't have you here with him. His mama is a a great lady and he is definitely in the safest arms.

          It shall be well.. certainly. We loved you...  Sleep well Fred. Sleep well fam.
Love and Peace.

Something I have learnt about Friends.

It's been long since i dropped a post. Life is a learning process and lately, I happened to gather something I would like to jolt down. Not necessarily for the world, but for the internet to keep it in some cloud servers somewhere so anytime I would need to remind myself in times to come....I would revisit.    We realise that those small note books we write on, will fill up and we will be forced to burn them in the pile of litter that has been filling our places.

There is need to have genuine friends today. In a world where there is too much pressure around us.

• If it's not pressure to get your child to the most preferred day care,it's having the latest flosset..
• If it's not the pressure to marry and get married it's pressure to acquire more than enough money that can school an abandoned child in a private school from age three and a half through to university.  list goes on and on....
• innate pressure to get going and to tell the world that your life is getting better...and actually post it in those frozen moments in status updates. 

While we're at it, I wish i would know how to make like real good friends. Ones who can carry you in
 dark times, call you and say it is okay and it will be okay.

The need to make it and to get the assurance that you're doing well is so much that you can get lost and end up depressed trying to benchmark with peers and old friends.

First things first.. set goals for yourself...not for them...or for us, but for yourself.
Secondly. Have an in-depth knowledge of the networks you create and grow...It will help you know where to trigger when the right time comes...to take you closer to your dreams..

We also need to have friends who will be genuine to criticize us for our growth....

You can't have enough genuine friends today.


My Take;

Be the genuine friend you want to have to others... Why? Because Life is like a mirror.  It reflects what we give. Don't worry if you are the one who is always giving..one day, someday you must get returns.. on that one day!