My 2018 start

1st 2018 was one of the most painful days of my life. My family and I had just come from church and on switching on our phones, we found a couple of messages from extended family members who had tried to reach us. I wished they were saying happy new year. It was not it, it was the worst news about a loved one. They had gone.. The grim reaper had knocked at our family's door. He does not request he just shows up! ooooooh uuuuh! I do not know why you (my late friend and fam) told me in our last conversation to attend your funeral the last time we sat together. Then less than a year you leave? Was it a premonition kind of thing? Come back for a minute! This happened so soon man that all we talked about keeps coming back to my head, it's as fresh as if you are telling it to me now. I thought we would have lived to be 70s maybe and see how our lineage has grown. I take my lessons. I have proved that we do not live to ourselves or for ourselves. And it is not a long time..We live to die.. We surely live to die. My prayer like that of the Psalmist Psalm 90:12 is that the Lord will teach me to number my days so I may apply my heart unto wisdom.
 I have not recovered. But I surely will because I believe in God.

I do not have resolutions as yet for I will make them and break them. I am certain though that your departure has taught me albeit with pain a few things:

• First and foremost is to live for God every second and millisecond because we are not our own....
• A second point ...yes I repeat... It is to live for God..  This would come again as the third, fourth and fifth up to infinity....
• I have resolved to live a life of purpose... a life worth some good legacy to leave behind. 
• I have decided I will check on the people I love and care about more often..I will go out with more intentions to make new friends... and I will mix fun and hustle altogether. If I decide to check out on you and you're a phone call away.. brace it.. 2018 is my year of change.. 
• I intend to do things more carefully.  I will leave a mark like to say in latter days that I was here. I will be more deliberate in the things I execute. Sometimes mortal man has those lazy days and I have been guilty of this way too long. I will try to shorten them and bring this to a halt.   
• I thank God I have been able to overcome keeping mute on offenders for I have learnt that in the face of death grudges and such time wasters are such minute issues. 
• In a nutshell I am just saying that I will live every minute like I will be out in the next as I do things. 

Before I complete my post... this is the tribute I sat down to write in tears and with a heavy heart

Dear Buddy,
          To say you broke my heart is an understatement. My heart was sent flying to wherever rendering it shuttered into tiny smithereens pieces. You have left a young family...and all your extended family. It was the worst news for me to receive on the day I should have been celebrating my favorite person's birthday.
The news left us shocked,lost and sad.You had so much zeal that no one doubted you would make it real big in this life. You seemed to have a long life ahead...now we wish it was so.

          One particular thing that broke me to pieces was about your spiritual life.. you remember me pushing you to come to my church and how you would brush it with your jokes? I hope you made it up with God before you left us.
I honestly don't know where you are but I hope you are resting. While you were around I heard you have a young one...But 2017 was such a year for me I would wish it was wound back and I did not have to loose the precious souls I did.. I am sorry I kept postponing. Now he's 5 months. I have met him. He is such a handsome little prince. And your wife is a beauty with brains...The little one has definitely taken after you.

          I was going through your last tweets and one caught my eye.. that we break promises and memories break us. The memories of us break me..to date. I smile..and tear a little and move on. I can't imagine how tough it is for your young wife,brothers and family. but all in all the Lord who has made this happen will see all of us through... He is never gotten by surprises like mortal man. He knows our end from our beginning.

          It is sad to say good bye... but I am glad we had you in our lives..... It is not often the case that we loose a loved one and gain another at the same time... but in this case we say thank you to God that we have a mini you....
I will tell him when he is a little older and if the Lord willing I will still be around, I will tell him what an awesome dad you are and will still be though he can't have you here with him. His mama is a a great lady and he is definitely in the safest arms.

          It shall be well.. certainly. We loved you...  Sleep well Fred. Sleep well fam.
Love and Peace.

Something I have learnt about Friends.

It's been long since i dropped a post. Life is a learning process and lately, I happened to gather something I would like to jolt down. Not necessarily for the world, but for the internet to keep it in some cloud servers somewhere so anytime I would need to remind myself in times to come....I would revisit.    We realise that those small note books we write on, will fill up and we will be forced to burn them in the pile of litter that has been filling our places.

There is need to have genuine friends today. In a world where there is too much pressure around us.

• If it's not pressure to get your child to the most preferred day care,it's having the latest flosset..
• If it's not the pressure to marry and get married it's pressure to acquire more than enough money that can school an abandoned child in a private school from age three and a half through to university.  list goes on and on....
• innate pressure to get going and to tell the world that your life is getting better...and actually post it in those frozen moments in status updates. 

While we're at it, I wish i would know how to make like real good friends. Ones who can carry you in
 dark times, call you and say it is okay and it will be okay.

The need to make it and to get the assurance that you're doing well is so much that you can get lost and end up depressed trying to benchmark with peers and old friends.

First things first.. set goals for yourself...not for them...or for us, but for yourself.
Secondly. Have an in-depth knowledge of the networks you create and grow...It will help you know where to trigger when the right time comes...to take you closer to your dreams..

We also need to have friends who will be genuine to criticize us for our growth....

You can't have enough genuine friends today.


My Take;

Be the genuine friend you want to have to others... Why? Because Life is like a mirror.  It reflects what we give. Don't worry if you are the one who is always giving..one day, someday you must get returns.. on that one day!